Based out of the Buried Cage in Barrie, ON

The GM

GM Dustin is outspoken and confident. He feels he is the best and his team is the best. He run analytics like “time on ice” and belittles his trade partners mere weeks after a move was made for their foolishness in making the trade with him. “It’s not about making friends, it’s about beating everyone down and teaching them of my awesomeness” muses GM Dustin aloofly. He’s shown a tendency to acquire Toronto Maple Leafs, whether it was the best move for his situation at the time, but also the willingness to flip recent acquisitions if he’s determines he’s gotten too invested in one suit.


This team has been run by GM Dustin since 2012. The franchise was a BBY expansion team back in 2007 with GM Critter naming it the Crittermatic, a name that didn’t sound so good for a  guy named Dustin (Dustinmatic is a great name for a vacuum though). Upon taking control, Dustin immediately renamed his team the Elite to send a clear message to the rest of the BBY.

Season Finished Points
2008 13th 581
2009 7th 752
2010 10th 653
2011 6th 703
2012 15th 608
2013 (lockout) 7th 404
2014 8th 682

The Logos

elite oldCrittermatic 2008-2012

GM Critter used an image of “Bucky O’Hare” (left side of the image) for reasons unknown, though some sources think it was a “rabbit = critter” kind of thing.


eliteElite 2012-present

The current Elite logo, as chosen by GM Dustin, appears to be some sort of stylized angry-faced insect with eagle wings, the lower part resembling the Phoenix symbol from Marvel comics. True fans know this is actually a butterfly princess sprinkling magic dust on her followers, albeit with an angry face.


The MVPs

Season MVP Points
2008 Marc Savard 78
2009 Marc Savard 88
2010 Nik Antropov/Alex Burrows 67
2011 Patrick Marleau 73
2012 James Neal 48
2013 (lockout) Phil Kessel 52
2014 Phil Kessel 80

The Captains

Season Captain Points
2008 Marc Savard 78
2009 Marc Savard 88
2010 Alex Burrows 67
2011 Patrick Marleau 73
2012 Matt Duchene 28
2013 (lockout) Pavol Datsyuk 49
2014 Pavol Datsyuk  32
2015 Henrik Sedin  

The Staff

Name Position(s) Service
Ogie Ogilthorpe Coach, Trainer 2009-present
Scarlett Johannsen Coach 2013-present

Coach Ogie Ogilthorpe has survived the ownership change. He seldom speaks, but results seem to do the talking for him. However, he was summarily demoted at the beginning of the 2013-2014 season when Scarlett was hired to spite GM Jake of the Spartans, who had just fired her as coach. This team has been engaged in a lengthy public search for other staff.

The Arch Enemy

The Marauders have a knack for getting under GM Dustin’s skin. He doesn’t like the way they operate and they like to get into the trash talk with each other. The 2013-2014 season saw some fireworks between these too. We suggest taking a seat and grabbing some popcorn, as this one aint done yet folks!

The Draft

Draft Year 1st selection and position taken (if known)
2007 Zach Hamill (18th)
2008 Patrick Berglund (44th)
2009 Matt Duchene (2nd)
2010 Steve Downie (18th)
2011 Joe Colborne (3rd)
2012 Mikhail Grigorenko (3rd)
2013 Brendan Gallagher (4th)
2014 Mike Santorelli (27th)